specialagency.net: Bridal

February 13, 2004

Bridal

The WeddingChannel web forums are what I had in mind, funny enough.

I had been told that the best information to be found was on the web, not necessarily on the directory sites, but in the message boards. They are difficult to sift through. More importantly, I was looking for specific information, not new friends to share my experience with. The real names and user names of the posters showed that they were nearly all women who were engaged to men and planning traditional weddings.

Women own this process.

I have encountered nothing but professional warmth and hospitality in my business dealings so far. But I suspect that any strangeness comes less from my being half of a gay couple--although there certainly is novelty there--than in the absence of a strong woman to provide her opinions and ideas in negotiations. I sense this because the people I speak with can not keep the B word out of their mouths, no matter how hard they try.

Everything is supposed to be about the bride. Our box of hand-me-downs includes the Massachusetts Bridal Directory and Boston Bride magazines. We truly are reading them for the articles.

Do I blame the professionals for their habits? Of course not. The planners are thinking on their feet when they deal with us. And so I could laugh when one woman excused a moment of confusion by saying with all sincerity, "I'm sorry, but I've never dealt with boy brides before."

Posted by Mark at February 13, 2004 02:28 PM

Comments

Just to be clear:

I AM NOT A BOY BRIDE.

Posted by: Mark at February 13, 2004 02:34 PM

If you hire a choreographer as well as a wedding planner, you could be a boy bride band. In fact, I think you should.

Posted by: Susan at February 13, 2004 02:37 PM

Actually, our plans include having you do "I Want it That Way" as a dramatic reading.

Posted by: Mark at February 13, 2004 02:46 PM

See, I am totally pinning my hopes on the fantasy that putting gay and lesbian couples into the marriage mix will result in some better and less annoying wedding traditions. Because it's not ALL women who own this process; it's just a certain type. A type with an unfortunate fondness for tulle.

Not that I'm getting married or anything, but really, the party favors and the dresses and all the strange expectations are at least as much a part of my distaste as the tax penalty is. When I went wedding dress shopping with a friend a few years ago, I felt like a complete alien, so much so that I will never go through that for myself, ever.

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