February 14, 2004
Happy VD
from youyesyou.net
It's not that I dislike Valentine's Day, exactly. I'm sure it's all very nice, if you're into such things, and the candy and chocolate is always welcome around these parts.
But first there were all those years in elementary school when the Valentine's Day ritual was for the girls in the class to deliver awful ten-cents-a-dozen cards to all the boys. Printed on newsprint-weight paper, these cards would say things like, "You're Swell!!", or "Be Mine!!", or would have a picture of a simpering cartoon bear with a "I Like You Bear-y Much!!" t-shirt on. And while the popular boys quickly accumulated heaps of valentines day cards, we geeky nelly boys sat silently ignored at our desks, terrified that we would go home cardless, and equally terrified that we wouldn't.
Then there was that string of years, now thankfully over, when I would find myself dating people I started geting sick of just around Valentine's Day. So I would have to grit my teeth and suffer through tediously romantic candlelit dinners at overpriced restaurants, mouthing empty saccharine platitudes to the bozo across the table just so I wouldn't end up becoming "that asshole who dumped me on Valentine's Day" in someone's personal folklore.
I don't dislike Valentine's Day, I really don't. I've just decided that this year I want to opt out of anything heart-shaped or cherubic. My original plan was to do something completely unromantic today -- we were going to buy Ho-Hos from the White Hen and watch bad soft-core porn on Showtime -- but Dan vetoed the idea. I think the current plan involves Bugs Bunny cartoons and Chinese take-out, and maybe some Scrabble. I don't know; we'll make it up as we go along.
In the meantime, the rest of you, please enjoy your Valentine's Day. I love you all bear-y much. You're swell, darlings. You really are.
Posted by Peter at February 14, 2004 09:48 AMDoes anyone want to stand up and claim that they like Valentine's Day? Not I.
Posted by: Mark at February 14, 2004 11:03 PMI rather like it, as holidays go, but I was too busy to post anything during the day and now I'm a little too drunk to be trusted to post anything. Happy Valentine's Day!
Posted by: Susan at February 15, 2004 02:12 AMI happen to have become close friends with one of the "bozos across the table," and well... what can I say? I can't imagine how he gritted his teeth and suffered through your tedious bullshit all of that time. What a fucking creep.
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