The other argument says, "There is this thing called 'marriage,' which has traditionally been a union between one man and one woman. This legally sanctioned union represents an unacceptable intrusion into the personal lives of individuals by the government. We need to change the definition of 'marriage' so that anyone who wants to participate can, in whatever form is meaningful to the parties involved. The government should merely facilitate these unions by extending the relevant benefits to the married entity." I find this argument more troubling, not necessarily because I think it's wrong, but because it's exactly what opponents of gay marriage are worried about. As long as this is a fight about ending discrimination against homosexuals, I find it hard to sympathize with the other side. But if this is a fight to fundamentally change what it means to be legally married, I can at least see where the opposition is coming from. I'm still not sure what side I fall on, but this whole debate does become a different animal.
And I know that to different people, marriage means different things. And I appreciate that. But I'm not sure I can get behind legal sanctions for every form of meaningful relationship. Marriage, as it is currently legally defined, does not translate well to groups larger than two. So, our understanding of what legal marriage is would have to change considerably before group marriages could have any functional meaning. But there is no reason, other than intolerance, to oppose incorporating homosexuals into the framework already established for marriage.
So maybe our society needs to evolve to the point where its understanding of marriage is fundamentally different from what it currently is. But I don't think we need to make that jump to demonstrate why gay marriage isn't a threat to anyone. It's great to change the world, but opposing bigotry is a good first step.
Posted by withers at February 26, 2004 12:41 PMMatt, I'm curious. You say that "marriage, as it is currently legally defined, does not translate well to groups larger than two." To take the simplest case, what do you see as the *legal* issues with expanding marriage from two people to three?
I was in a threesome for several years, and while we never considered marriage seriously, we easily could have.
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