Kurt Cobain has been dead ten years, and even though I wasn't the kid at your high school with the big poster of Kurt's scruffy face that said OUR KING IS DEAD, I was good friends with that kid. And I, geeky and straight-edge (which was still the better part of a decade from being even close to hip), having decided about a month previously that this Nirvana stuff was actually pretty good, sat around and watched MTV News like everyone else, and tried to figure out what to make of it.
As a teenager, suicide always seemed a bizarre and remote, nearly comical type of drama. A number of years later, having known three suicides among the people I went to middle or high school with, I don't feel like I'm any closer to figuring it out. Suicide is nearly unique in its ability to exist in my head only as an abstraction, despite all evidence to the contrary. To some extent, all death is abstract -- but dying in a car crash has a certain concreteness to it, a process that could be understood. But while a car accident is an impersonal event (even, as I've just called it, a "process"), suicide is the opposite: so completely personal that a general understanding of it is like an infinitely receding point in my mind. Which probably says a lot more about me than I had intended to say, so anyways.
Also ten years ago this week, the beginning of the genocide campaign in Rwanda that killed 800,000 people, or possibly more.
Happy Monday.
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