specialagency.net

All About the Riots

The Boston Phoenix is, essentially, blogging from the Constitutional Convention today. There isn't any news yet of how the debate is going inside the State House, but it sounds like a madhouse outside.

The demonstrations before the previous session were basically separate, held on consecutive days leading up to the start of the ConCon. The marriage rights rally, the one I went to, was relatively tame. There were some speeches, a little chanting, that sort of thing, but no ostentatious displays like they're getting today. This time there's a guy dragging a huge wooden cross around, a little kid with a "God Hates Fags" sign, and special protesting tourists who have flown in from Los Angeles for the festivities.

I'm stuck at work with meetings all day, or else I'd be down there taking pictures and trying to stir up some trouble or something. I know, I should be more mature than that, but I was promised a riot this year, and the Red Sox didn't deliver, so dangnabit I want one now.

Winter weather fashion.

So I'm in upstate New York, right? Staying with my best friend from high school while I do dissertation research. This morning I was sitting at her kitchen table with some coffee and my research notes, mapping out my plan for the day, when she came running in, barefoot in a t-shirt and jeans, announcing that she was already five minutes late for class and I could have a ride in to campus if I could be ready to leave Right Now.

It's been snowing ever since I got here, more or less. Nothing's accumulated, but every time I go outside I get snowed on. It's also cold. I'm also very whiny about the winter. But this morning I remembered something else I like about winter--the way the clothes are so easy. In the time it took me to pack up my computer and put on some shoes, she'd combed her hair and thrown a nice sweater over her t-shirt, and suddenly she looked totally presentable to attend her business-school class. I miss that, the quick easy gracefulness of looking good in winter clothes. It's possible there's a similar trick to looking professional on short notice in temperate-weather clothing, but in three and a half years I've yet to figure it out.

Yes, I'm talking about clothes. I haven't read a newspaper, watched television, or listened to the radio since Saturday. I'm assuming that if Big News Events happened someone would let me know, but mostly I'm isolated in my little library world this week. All I have for you is sweater envy.

The rules of disengagement.

I've had a few conversations lately that have convinced me that it's time for a refresher on The Rules. Please note: these aren't just my rules. This is a list that's been compiled as the result of many long discussions and a lot of people's bad experiences. Please note also that "That Guy" is a gender-neutral term; I know plenty of women, myself included, who have been That Guy at one point or another.

When

• You can't break up with someone on one of the Major Holidays (Christmas, New Year's, Valentine's Day, your anniversary) or on the other person's birthday. If you do this, you will forever be That Guy, and they'll be bitter about the holiday breakup years after they've stopped being bitter about you in particular.
• You can't break up with someone in the week leading up to any of the Major Holidays or your birthday. They may have already bought you a gift, which will add to your That Guy status.
• You can't break up with someone in the two-week period immediately following any Major Holiday, because then it will be painfully obvious that you were just waiting for the holiday to pass, and you'll be That Guy anyway.
• You can't break up with someone right after you've had sex. You have to at least wait until you're both dressed, but you really ought to wait until at least a day has passed.

How

• For god's sake, don't do it in a voice mail message or a text message.
  
• Don't do it in a letter.
  
• Don't do it in an email.
  
• If you live less than an hour's drive from each other, don't do it over the phone.
  
• Do not, under any circumstances, have someone else do it for you.
  

Where

• If you have any reason to believe the person you're about to break up with will cry, any reason at all, do not do it in a restaurant, bar, coffee shop, or crowded public place. It's not just embarassing for the both of you, it's embarassing to everyone around you.
  
• Don't do it at the other person's house, because then you'll feel like a jackass when you leave.
  
• Don't do it at your house, because you might not be able to get the other person to leave.
  

Now these rules, like any rules governing human behavior, have some flexibility in them. If you've only been dating for a couple of weeks and never had any Serious Talk, then you can probably break a lot of these rules and get away with it. If you've been dating for years and had picked out china patterns, or even just if you're dating someone fragile, you'll be That Guy no matter how assiduously you follow the rules. The best you can do is try.

You ain't a beauty, but hey you're alright.

It hasn't hit the media yet, but my sources tell me that the Municipal Clerk of Asbury Park, New Jersey is about to issue a marriage license to a same-sex couple.

Asbury Park is noteworthy as the home of the only gay bar I've been where some guy started a conversation by asking if I hunted.